And I’m excited and nervous about this.
Anyone else living at College Inn next semester? Follow me, let’s get acquainted.
One of them is called Pretty Little Mistakes by Heather McElhatton. Think Choose Your Own Adventures books, but for adults.
In my first “life” I graduate high school then leave for college with my boyfriend, but we start to drift apart because I decide to be an art major and he plans on getting a degree in business and I just think that is so embarrassing. We end up breaking up because one day he walks in on me hooking up with this video artist named Thaddeus.
I eventually forget about both of them and decide to concentrate on my art. In an art gallery at the school, I enter a conservative piece as opposed to an edgy one like everyone else and am recognized by a well known curator who says I have talent. He invites me to a group show in the city and I accept.
The show was a disaster though, and the local newspaper writes a piece using the show as an example of how local art is declining. I then organize a group of other disgruntled students and we become a sort of activist group who “supports disfranchised artists.” We cause mischief all around town, think Fight Club mischief at the beginning and minus the underground pummeling.
Then we really decide to step up our game by streaking across the field of a nationally televised college football game. All of this while covered in meats, of course. Our cue is given and I sprint across the field and get to the other side, only to find out that the rest of the streakers chickened out, leaving me alone and naked in front of thousands of people and cameras. I get thrown in jail but am lucky enough to have parents willing to bail me out. They can’t bear to look me in the eye by the way, they are thoroughly embarrassed by their daughter.
I get harassed by the paparazzi and general public enough to force me to move to a northern town called Duluth. Here I try to blend in and avoid the media. I end up working in a small diner called Betty’s Pies and living in an old trapper’s cabin right on the lake.
Then one day I meet a nineteen year old boy whose name is Peter and is “an Eagle Scout with the stomach muscles of Adonis.” He makes excuses for him to hang around, then I make excuses for him to hang around, then we have this passionate love affair. He then decides to attend a community college in the city, away from me. I’ve fallen deep, deeply in love with him and don’t want to see him leave that I contemplate faking a pregnancy. But I don’t and set him free.
I go back to working at Betty’s Pies where I get older and fatter. A decade later Peter comes back with a beautiful wife and bouncing baby boy. I think they’re so cute and wonderful that I want to drown them in the lake. I end up flirting with the regulars in a futile attempt to make Peter jealous. I purposely leave with a local who’s had an eye on me for a while and make sure Peter sees us.
It turns out the guy I left with, Joe is not just a dumb bum who has never worked a day in his life. He has a nice place and a nice pile of cash due to a long ago insurance settlement. The two of us are financially set for life. We marry and live happily and grow old together. I die at the age of ninety-two in my sleep, next to my husband.
All this happened in about 5 minutes. And that has been my Wednesday morning, thanks for tuning in.
100% Trans Fat: 5/16: McArthur High school hazmat situation: Students and teachers... -
5/16: McArthur High school hazmat situation: Students and teachers decontaminated after breaking out in rash.
5/19: No confirmation on chemical at Fort Lauderdale International Airport.
5/21: Man bites woman in Westchester.
5/23: I-285 reopens after hazmat incident.
5/23: Man bites cousins…
I am so in the mood for an apocalypse right now
[video]
How The Zombie Apocalypse Starts: naked attacker found eating man’s face -
theinevitablezombieapocalypse:
A scary bit of news is coming out of Miami this weekend after the city police shot a naked man found eating another man’s face. And several circumstances of the story have some people crying zombie.
The police were called in yesterday after the attacker was spotted on the MacArthur Causeway off ramp. When the attacker failed to back away at the officer’s request, the officer shot the attacker.
(Source: io9.com)
“Mankind, I suppose, is designed to run on - to be motivated by - temptation. If progress is a virtue then this is our greatest gift. For what is curiosity if not intellectual temptation? And what progress is there without curiosity?” — Christopher Moore
Now Reading: Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal by Christopher Moore
I’ve only read the prolouge of this book, but I already know it’s going to be one of my favorites. Also, the copy of the book I own doesn’t look like the one above, though I wish I had that copy.
(Source: sleepyouth)
(Source: doomslock, via relativelynewmexico)
Psychologists Discover How People Subconsciously Become Their Favorite Fictional Characters
Psychologists have discovered that while reading a book or story, people are prone to subconsciously adopt their behavior, thoughts, beliefs and internal responses to that of fictional characters as if they were their own.
Experts have dubbed this subconscious phenomenon ‘experience-taking,’ where people actually change their own behaviors and thoughts to match those of a fictional character that they can identify with.
(via weliveandbreathewords)
(Source: iamabibliophile)
I don’t even know how that happened, but I’m not even gonna question it. So that means all As for the semester. I deserve something nice. Also, I feel like I should get my algebra instructor a thank you card. But that would be weird, right?
[video]
